Vortigern Studies Index

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Scene 4.1 A road near Thong Castle

Enter Vortiger, Castiza, two Ladies, Roxena, Devonshire, Stafford at one door, Simon and his brethren at the other[, a mace and a sword before him].[1]

SIMON
Lo, I the mayor of Quinborough town by name,
With all my brethren, saving one that's lame,
Are come as fast as fiery mill-horse gallops[2]
To meet thy grace, thy queen and thy fair trollops[3] .
For reason of our coming do not look,
It must be done, I found it i' th' town book;
And yet not I myself: I scorn to read,
I keep a clerk to do those jobs for need.
And now expect a rare conceit before Thong Castle [see] thee.
Reach me the thing to give the king, the other too I prithee.
Now here they be for queen and thee, the gifts all steel and leather,
But the conceit of mickle[4] weight, and here they're come together:
To show two loves must join in one, our town presents to thee
This gilded scabbard to the queen, this dagger unto thee.

VORTIGER
Forbear your tedious and ridiculous duties!
I hate 'em, as I do the rotten roots of you,
You inconstant rabble; I have felt your fits.
Sheath up your bounty with your [iron] wits
And get you gone.

Music. Exeunt King [Vortiger, Castiza], lords [and ladies. Manent Simon and citizens].

SIMON
Look, sir[s], is his back turn'd?

ALL
'Tis, 'tis.

SIMON
Then bless the good Earl of Kent, say I;
I'll have this dagger turn'd into a pie
And eaten up for anger[5], every bit on't.
And when that pie is new cut up by some rare, cunning pie-man,
They shall all lamentably sing, "Put up thy dagger, Simon."

Exeunt.

NOTES

^[1] a mace and a sword before him]: (Q); the sword and mace were symbols of high office and used in formal ceremonies. "Parodies of the crudity of rustic shows and symbolism such as this scene contains occur elsewhere in the drama of the period, as in Munday's John a Kent and John a Cumber" (Bald).
^[2] as fast as fiery mill-horse gallops: i.e., not fast at all
^[3] trollops: another blunder of Simon's, although he speaks more wisely than he knows .
^[4] mickle: much.
^[5] dagger turn'd into a pie/And eaten up for anger: Two taverns (in Cheapside and Holborn) called The Dagger were noted for their pies.

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